Five Ways You’re Celebrating the Holidays All Wrong

1. You’re Drinking Too Much

This time of the year is all about enjoying festive times with family and friends. Whether you’re celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah or Ramadan and despite what millions of commercials tell us, the holidays are also a holy time. This is a time of reflection. A time to enjoy those we’re blessed to have in our lives. Making every gathering a reason to get wasted is missing the heart of the holidays. So the next you hear, “Christmas party,” stop thinking “free liquor.” Ease up on the “eggnog.” Stay sober in your thoughts and actions and cherish these special but fleeting moments. It’s hard to cherish what you can’t remember. 

2. You’re Spending Too Much

You spent six hours outside of Walmart on black Friday to buy your kid another video game system but barely spend 15 minutes with your child on Monday. You’re breaking your neck and the bank to buy the most expensive gifts for families so they can praise you, but the holidays are not about outgoing each other. In the story of Christmas, the three wise men gave out of thoughtfulness and simply gave out if who they are. (There were no malls.) Giving shouldn’t turn into an Olympic sport where try to outdo each other. It’s about thinking of someone and finding something that you know will brighten their faces without dampening your credit. Remember giving starts from the heart not from the cash register.

3. You’re Stressing Too Much

You’ve agreed to plan all three office parties, cook Christmas dinner for your in-laws and take up an extra shift at work to cover the extra expenses right after you chaperone your kids classroom party. Stop it! Step away From the clipboard slowly. You’re doing too much. The holidays can be like crack to the consummate overachievers. There’s all these opportunities to work yourself nutty and you always volunteer. Then by Christmas you have a betvousr breakdown because doing everything never works out as you think. Just when you realize that clipboard isn’t a magic wand, it’s too late. You’re burnt out and

4. You’re Decorating Too Much

If the outside of your house looks like Santa’s workshop and you don’t live on the north pole, you’re definitely doing too much. It’s one thing to decorate and adorn your home. It’s completely another thing to transform it into another dimension where at night, your neighbors are completely blinded by your millions of streaming lights. We know you like the holidays but Christmas is more about letting your inward light shine. A tree in your home is nice. A tree in every room is obsessive. Enjoy decorating your home with family and friends but ending up with no lights in January because your electric bill was too high in December is not what this time of the year is all about.

5. You’re Doing Too Much

All of a sudden, you to do list has no end. Your day is filled with endless errands that are eating up your mind space. You’re never in the moment with everyone else because you’re always preoccupied with the next thing on your list. Your Christmas list grows every time you run into someone. You’re not Santa; so stop trying to give everyone a gift. Even he isn’t real because bring gifts to everyone in the world is not a dream. It’s a geographical, mental and financial nightmare. Ease up. Do what you can for who you can when you can without losing sight of what’s most important. Reevaluate your priorities. If focusing on the tasks of gifting leaves zero time for you and the ones you care about, you’ve somehow missed the heart of the holidays. 

Don’t Live with Regret, Evict it

We’ve all done something that we wish we could take back; a day in our lives that weren’t our shiniest moment. Whenever we think about it, we stop living in our present and dwell on that mistake, that bad judgement, that failed accomplishment or relationship. Days, months, years later we’re still gripped by regrets, reliving a moment that should be behind us. If we ever want to live healthy and productive lives, we have to let go of regrets. We have to evict regret from your hearts.

Let’s face it. Regret is not a very good or useful roommate. If you’re living with regret, truth is you’re not really living at all. Regret is a whining, condemning companion always there to manipulate and remind you of who you were and not who you are. Regret wants to keep you locked in the prison of your past, depressed and helpless by what you can’t change. But you can’t let your past mistakes define your present or blur the hope of the future.

Someone asked Eleanor Roosevelt, “How did you accomplish so much with your life?” She said, “I never waste time with regrets.” Regret is a time and joy stealer that will leave you unproductive and stagnate. Regret and hope cannot coexist. You have to choose which you will reside with. Choose to live with hope.

Join Me in Praying for All the Assholes in the World

Anyone who knows me knows that I love people. I always try to look at the bright side of folks even when they’re showing me their dark side. I believe we’re all inherently good people still trying to find our ultimate higher self. Some of us are more prone to treat others with the same humanity, respect and courtesy we expect from others; while others believe people are just doormats to be walked over, pissed on or just merely props to be pushed around at will. Anyway, instead of spending countless hours ranting about them on Twitter (though they’re not following you) or publicly cussing them out on Facebook (though they’re not your Facebook friend), just pray for them. For those offended by my use of “asshole,” until the dictionary comes up another word for someone who pisses on others for his or her own self-gratification or to get ahead, we’re stuck with asshole. Stop being frustrated and complaining about these skilled assholes. Instead, calm down apply one or all of the following five prayers for the assholes in your world. 

Pray They Can See Themselves

Assholes are always the last to know they’re assholes. Pray that with some divine intervention, inspiration or a verbal lashing, they’ll see what an absolute butt cheek they’re being. To further help this prayer, secretly videotape them during one of their great obnoxious mega asshole moments. Play it back for them. If they still can’t see themselves, then find someone who’s skilled with exorcism cuz this person is asshole possessed.

Pray They Get Help

Like crack, being an asshole is an addiction. Instead of dreaming of kicking this person down 3,500 steps, help the asshole in your world find an appropriate 12 step program. Tell him he can longer continue to disrespect, disregard and dismiss those in his life or else, like a crack addict, he could find himself in a ditch in the middle of China Town.

Pray They Go Away 

Never pray for anyone to be killed or maimed. After exercising respect and restraint, pray that they go away to another workplace, neighborhood, and family Plus Afghanistan is lovely this time of year. 

Pray They Meet Someone Like Them

Nothing annoys an asshole more than another asshole. They can’t stand it when they meet someone who acts just like them. So if you know one asshole, introduce them to the other asshole. They’ll either see the error of their ways and change or fall in love and create little assholes.

Pray That God Helps You

Sometimes assholes come into our lives to help us become better people. They test our patience, our faith in humanity, and our liberty to not end up behind bars. They help us strengthen our love muscle. How we respond to them says more about us than who they are. The goal is to get better as a person and not to become them or take on their nature. There’s nothing worse than becoming the asshole you detest.

The Objective of Terror

The objective of terror, whether home grown or foreign, is to ignite and create fear. The objective of terror is not to kill; though it uses murders and even mass murders. Terror’s objective is to use the dead to birth fear in the hearts of the living. Whether in the air or on the ground, in a tall building or the casual escape of a movie theater, terror comes to dispense fear, stripping us of sanctity and peace.

The only way to defeat terror is with hope and love. Hope says though today was tragic, a new day with new life and possibilities awaits me to grow and get better. Love says I will not hate the one through whom terror comes. But I will combat his actions with the most winning and rewarding response: forgiveness.

Five Reasons You’re Unhappy

We all have bad days, days where nothing goes right and days when those we love just do us wrong. But if you or someone you know suffers from chronic unhappiness, don’t be so quick to reach for that anti-depressant. Many of life’s problems aren’t a medical condition. So before you try to find happiness in a prescription, check out the following reasons you may be unhappy.

You’re Being Someone You’re Not

Nothing kills your soul faster than being an imitation. While you’re pretending to be someone else, your real self is dying. Your sadness, unhappiness is an outward symptom of your inner struggle. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. Find and work on the real you. You’ll be amazed how happy the real you will be to see you.

You’re Comparing Yourself to Others

Face it. When you compare yourself to others, you will always come up short because the comparison never ends. There will always be someone more rich, more tall, more smart even more beautiful. As long as you spend your time chasing comparisons, you will never stop to see the real gem in you. Plus comparing yourself to others breeds a rat race that you will never win. 

You’re trying to Find Happiness in Stuff

If money bought happiness, we’d all be robbing banks. Stop looking to feel good about yourself based on your material possessions. Despite popular beliefs, more money will not make you happy. More money will just shine a brighter light on what’s making you unhappy. Money is a tool not a god. Use money as a tool to get the things you need to function in life. Don’t make money your life. 

You’re Surrounding Yourself With the Wrong People

Your so-call friends may be bringing you down. You’re unhappy because you’ve surrounded yourself with takers not givers. They add no value to your life. Their energy is draining you. Time with them leaves you emotionally exhausted and undervalued. Because you can’t change people, it’s time to change the people you’re around. Friend up. Meaning find friends who will help you do better.

You Haven’t Found Your Purpose

There’s nothing more debilitating to the mind, body and soul than an empty life. Just going through the motions in life leaves you unfulfilled. Your life lacks passion and purpose. You have yet to discover what you were placed on this planet to do. Regardless of your spiritual and religious believes, in order to find your purpose, you must go to the source; you know your creator. Only the creator can determine and instruct the purpose of the creation. Once you discover your purpose, nothing will bring you more joy. 

The Enemy of our Peace

In our times and in this economy, peace is our most valuable commodity. Without peace, we can’t enjoy our lives nor see the value in each day, each moment. But there’s an enemy to our peace. No, it’s not the terrorists, your irritable boss or meddling in-laws. An undisciplined mind is the greatest enemy of our peace.


With millions of Americans out of work, unemployed, underemployed, there’s so much to worry about.  Allowing your mind to go to places where you’re focusing on the negative, the struggles, the things you can’t change, only leaves you more helpless and defeated. For those who have jobs, you worry about our jobs, how long will you have it?  What will we do if we lose it? For those with small businesses, you worry about keeping the business afloat. Those with homes and decreased income, you worry about where you’ll live? For those with children, you worry about their safety and their future. The mind always wants to wander and to worry. So how can we find peace with so much to worry about?

We must first remember that our peace doesn’t come from us. It comes from Jesus. Yes, you read correctly, I said Jesus. Like it or not, He is the giver of peace. He has given us His peace. Everyday we choose whether to hold on to his peace, or allow our minds to wander to the places that leave us anxious and in despair.

Peace doesn’t come from having money, fame, or being popular. You may think that if you had more money, your troubles will disappear. You’ve obviously have never picked up a tabloid magazine of watch the news. Troubles know no zip codes or income brackets. In this life, rich or poor, we all have troubles but peace is believing, trusting and obeying God, knowing that no matter where you are, He’s right there with you. He wants you to focus on Him and not the problems.

Does He want us to pretend our troubles do not exist? Absolutly not. Instead of replaying our troubles in our minds and making ourselves sick with anxiety, He wants us to tell Him. Talk to Him. But you may say, “well, doesn’t He know? Does He not see?” Yes, He knows and he cares. Talking to Him produces faith in you. Faith gives you the strength and focus to withstand troubles by leaning on God. 

Once you have His peace, how do you maintain it? You maintain peace by thinking on things that are lovely, beautiful and true. Remember, an undisciplined mind is the greatest enemy of peace. So you have to teach your mind what to think and how to think. Think on things lovely, beautiful, positive and true. A man is what he thinks. You have to guard your peace with those thoughts and God’s promises. 

You can’t have and maintain peace holding onto a victim’s mentality. Yes, he wronged you. Yes, they fired you without cause. But until you’re ready to let that go, you will never move forward nor will you enjoy peace because your mind will live in the past. You can’t go forward and backwards at the same time. You can’t have peace and worry. Having peace is knowing who God is and trusting in His love everyday and any economy.